Stagnant

Life has become a symphony of monotony. Drab, dull, dreary, stale, stagnant. Days are like slow dribbles that form months of standing water. Im tied to railroad tracks waiting for a train to come hurtling towards me, pulverising and dismembering me before reassembling me like a ragdoll and sending me off into another life.

Im lying on a raft in the middle of a nameless ocean, waiting for the current to pull me somewhere, anywhere. Im suffocating, confined. Im wearing a straitjacket and a gag.

Too many colourless dreams, searching for people i cant find.

Something’s got to give.

Hourglass

I’m lying in a gutter. I cannot move and I am still winded. Rats scurry around my head. My left eye is swollen shut. My feet are in a puddle. Somebody is dropping bowling balls on my chest. My ribs are smashing and everything is caving in.

A truck turns into the alley, headlights off. It’s too dark for him to see me and I’m too tired to move.

Detachment

They gushed at the sight of the sea. Glassy. Mirrorlike. Calm. “Beautiful!”, they chorused.

I thought it was sinister, and wondered what death hunters lurked beneath the surface.

“The sand is so soft!”, they sang.

I wondered how much of the sand was composed of crushed-up human bones.

They were awestruck by the grandeur of the clifftop vista, the anguished roar as the waves slapped and beat the rocks below.

I wondered what it would feel like to jump.

Futility.

I had almost made it out of the well.

I had crawled from the depths, slipping and sliding and grazing my deathglow limbs on the dank and grimy walls. Blood of the most seductive red snaked and shimmered its way down my arms. I grappled with jutting rocks, elevating myself ever higher above the pool of icy black water into which i had been thrown. I could taste the sweetness of the fresh, new air. I longed to be dry and warm and safe.

But then he grabbed my foot. His rotting hand clasped my tiny ankle, and in the darkness i was overcome with the stench of decay. With astonishing force, he pulled me downwards into death. As i fell to my end, broken and lacerated, i wondered why.